ummm.... listen....
There's a movie very much like you'rs called 29 cents or something similare.
it's the first movie in Toons->Serius go check it out.
Everything that you have missed in this mvie he hasn't, You made it really superfical (Sorry for my typos, English is my second language) and with no real depth. And you really could have taken a few exra miniutes to draw the face....
But I like the idea so.... keep trying